The Enriched Relationship
Three forces present themselves in an ideal partnership: Sex, Love, and Eros. Eros, the chemistry between two people, thrusts couples into love and marriage. When difficulties occur, they are not due to a lack of love, but rather the demise of Eros. Without Eros, sexual desire shuts down, even for those who love each other. The main question for any couple is how to keep Eros, the bridge that joins the love force with the sexual force, alive. The answer involves a journey in search of the other’s soul. Those who desire to know their partners on a soul level move from separation created by a lack of intimacy to unification and mutuality. Then the flame of Eros re-ignites.
Divine marriage results when relationship partners search for new ways to share the depth of their individual truths. They interact and communicate continuously. When the interaction stops, restlessness takes over, and the relationship becomes static and habitual. Sometimes it ends, reeking of sluggishness and inertia.
Two dissatisfied people cease to meet on a soul level. They fall into inertia fueled by past resentments and hurts. They do not know how to break through the impasse. If they leave each other and find a new partner, they secure a second chance to behave in ways that promote eros and love. Those who stay in the unsatisfactory marriage may try to repair the damage. They reveal parts of themselves they had not formerly shared. They work to become conscious of the fears that stopped them in the past from revealing. They express emotions. The marriage is enriched.
Those who avoid revelation find themselves in failed marriages. Unwillingness, fear, and ignorance controls their souls. In contrast, those who reveal discover the spiritual meaning of marriage. This is the secret of the enriched relationship.
Ideas from John C. Pierrkos, MD and Karyne Wilner, PsyD, 2001
Written by Karyne Wilner, PsyD, 7/28/2008